A three year old is holding his mother’s hand in one hand and a much too real looking toy handgun in the other. A well dressed dad and ballet dancer daughter emerge from the subway. He drops her off at the dance school and returns toward the subway. A tiny girl, hair dangling what seems like hundreds of white beads, races up the steps alone. Moments later her probable grandpop follows, almost dies when she’s not there, then sighs in relief, hand on his chest, when she shouts boo from her hiding place. They hold hands as they cross the street. A group of six women walk north in a sort of flock headed toward work. What brought them together, I don’t know, but they’re together every morning.
A few mornings a week I stand in front of the building where Circle of Hope Broad and Washington meets and I say “good morning” to everyone who walks by. After a few weeks of this discipline I’m noticing the regulars, I’m noticing these scenes of connection, and I’m noticing some stuff in me.
It’s interesting how people respond to me. A few expect me to say hello at this point and preempt me. A man today responded to my “Good Morning, Sir” with an aggressive “What do you want?” I smiled and said, “Just saying hi.” Then he said “Nobody just says hi. you want something.” and he walked away. He was right; I did want something–connection. He scared me a little bit though and I wasn’t sure I wanted to connect with him. God forgive me, maybe.
However, the majority of people don’t respond to me at all. So many passersby are completely plugged in and I’m unable to even get their attention. The other day I had made a friend while she waited for our landlords to open their check cashing place. Her name was Grace. She was either a little bit crazy or too old to care about decorum. She witnessed me saying hello to several people who did not respond to me at all, either because they couldn’t hear me or didn’t want to be bothered. Each time Grace guffawed. She thought it was ridiculous that people wouldn’t even acknowledge me. She said, “They don’t want to talk to you.”
I’m glad Grace is there with me to back me up because this is a really good illustration of what we are up against as a church. We’re trying to make a connection with people who, intentionally or not, live in isolation, even walking down a busy street. But I am encouraged by these scenes of human connection that I see. People are not completely isolated. Many do find their allies, many do touch, and I am hopeful that many still want to connect with Jesus through us.
My morning discipline on Broad Street is a nice prayer exercise for impatient, action-oriented me. I have to spend an hour waiting, watching and praying. I say hello and try to be in a way that is open to the next person. People look at me then they look at our sign–I think they are noticing us more than they may have before. I am making friends. I have met a dozen or so people who actually stopped to talk to me. And some good stuff is happening for me too.
- I have a discipline- which gets me to work on time (I am largely self-supervised)
- It grounds me in the Holy Spirit- the hour is very passive- it’s an exercise in waiting for God to drop someone into my lap. Without the work of the Holy Spirit I am lost. I need to start my days in recognition of that.
- It opens my eyes to the beautiful, lovable people of our neighborhood. As I watch them and pray for them I learn to love them.
God, please bless Broad Street and her people. May Circle of Hope be a place for them to connect.
5 responses to “Grace says they don’t want to talk to you”
This IS a really great discipline, and there’s so much possibility for different types of fruit to come from it. Thanks for doing this, and for being open and deliberate about giving space for the work of the Spirit.
I just discovered a blog/novel that my friend is writing that is titled in harmony with this post (it’s a fun zombie-ish thing set in North Philly)
thanks for sharing your journey here…I like the reminder to say hi to people more regularly. I love it when I do get into conversations with people on the street, but I don’t initiate as much as I’d like to.
Thanks Jonathan! Always an opportunity to make a friend with a stranger.