Remembering a childhood punishment and dreaming of the pure in heart who shall see God, I wrote this corona of sonnets which hopes to offer a continuous path through the passion of my brokenness, the hope of my human capacity for singleness of will, and the vision of my very self through the loving eyes of Jesus. And repeat…
I look through mirrored glass and want to see
Beyond reflections. From the second floor
My bulging eyes are fixed on being free;
My straining ears are tuned for dad’s car door.
Because my mom had had enough of sass,
And Dad’s arrival means I leave this room.
So forehead pressed against December glass,
I wait, and wait, and suffer perfect doom.
Alone and bored, I’m losing self control;
Yes, this is how I lost my freedom hours
Losing sight of my present goal,
Somehow, I slam my windowed-face with pow’r
Enough to send a crack through glass and brain;
An unthought thought becomes a broken pane.
An unthought thought becomes a broken pane –
Of glass, of memory, of consequence;
A channeled flow from heart to fist; no brain
Between, no mind at all, a dominance
Of fire untempered by a single grain
What pow’r! and force! and singleness!
A feeling bolted into air, un-skeined,
No will required like “love,” “imagine,” “bless”.
What if such pure action came from a heart
Unbent but by the joy to share a room
With Him who first was heard back at the start
Through warm walls of two holy women’s wombs
By ears connected to that unthought core
In Him, of One who made him, all, and more?
Of him, of One who made him, all, and more,
He sings creation songs and surfs them strong,
Within his Father’s will — submits to lore,
To law, to death, to stories told from long
Ago — all about him, none above him.
He made them truest when he was himself;
Just as he makes us true.
As we love sin,
He looks into our darkened, small, dim-self,
And by his seeing shines out big, dark things.
Beholding none unlovely in those eyes,
His sight will light up fires that spark bright wings
From shoulders long weighed down with weary lies.
His love, inexorable, speaks, and the world agrees,
I look through mirrored glass and want to see!
You can listen to me read it here